Relationship adivce (haha) and some tangents


Have you ever tried to read a book on singleness in the context of Christianity? These books range from letting God write your love story to kissing dating goodbye. The whole thing boils down to this: surrender your love life to God. Notice, I did not say that you’ll be thrilled every second of every day.

The most practical advice I have ever received is to pray to God that He would help me love Him more than I love the idea of being married or having a boyfriend or whatever. Seriously, it works. It’s not easy to admit to God or really anyone that you’ve been more in love with the idea that God might provide you a love than with Him. It’s OK to hope for it, but it’s not OK to love the idea more than loving God. That’s a slippery slope in a monsoon.

Any time I feel that thought creeping in my brain and mainly in my heart, I have to stop and pray. I usually argue that it’s OK to entertain daydreams, but God, in His gentle way, tells me it’s not. Those daydreams provide a great distraction from lots of things: reality, school, responsibility, and God. If you need to escape, run to Him. It’s so much better, and it leaves no room for disappointment.

Where on earth is this all coming from? Well, a couple of years ago, someone recommended that I read When God Writes Your Love Story. I cannot really remember how I felt after I read it, but I recently found it in one of my piles of books. I started reading it again, and I remembered how much I really liked the idea of God taking control of things, and I loved the story. I also realized how much I had grown. I realized that the only book I need is THE Book. The Bible. It’s filled with love. It’s better than any book on dating… although, I must admit that some books are actually fine as long as they’re steeped in Scripture. Don’t ever let one replace the Bible, though. Another slippery slope.

Here’s my deal. I am single. Not a huge shock to the general public. What a lot of people don’t know is my secret struggle with it. It’s not a unique struggle, but it’s really not one you want to try and deal with yourself. Seek wise counsel and pray and read the Bible. It sounds simple, but you know and I know that it is not. Trust God. He has your best intentions at heart. Seriously, though, the best advice I have ever gotten that made me realize that I’m not alone, I’m not gross, I’m not stupid, I’m not about to get stuck in a rut again is to love God more than His promises or hope for a promise.

Give it a try. You really won’t regret it.

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